COPING SKILLS
EarlySobriety.com is not to be used for medical, psychiatric, or therapeutic advice. I am not a doctor, clinician, or licensed professional. This guide offers general education and lived-experience insight only. If you are in crisis or need medical attention, please contact a licensed provider or emergency services immediately. Immediate Help.
How to stabilize your body, interrupt the spiral, and stay present in sobriety.
INTRODUCTION — When Your Body Doesn’t Match the Moment
Coping in early sobriety isn’t about staying calm.
It’s about staying alive long enough to heal.
Your brain is rewiring.
Your nervous system is recalibrating.
Your emotions are thawing.
Nothing about this phase is supposed to feel graceful.
Coping is the bridge between “I can’t do this” and “I’m still here.”
This guide isn’t about perfection.
It’s about stabilization — the skills that keep you from collapsing into old patterns when everything inside you feels louder than it should.
WHAT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN YOUR BODY
Before new coping skills make sense, you need the truth about why everything feels so hard:
• Your amygdala is overactive.
It fires at shadows, old memories, nothing at all.
• Your prefrontal cortex (logic, planning, impulse control) is still rebooting.
• Cortisol and adrenaline spike faster than they can settle.
• Waves of PAWS (post-acute withdrawal) create emotional whiplash.
• You’re feeling emotions without numbing them.
This alone can feel like a threat.
• Years of coping through escape mean your body never learned how to regulate.
Coping skills aren’t character tools — they’re nervous system tools.
You’re not fragile.
You’re rewiring.
INTERNAL COPING — When You Can’t Change the Moment
These are skills that create internal space when your thoughts and body feel too tight.
• Name the feeling out loud.
Not poetically — plainly.
“Fear.”
“Overwhelm.”
“Loneliness.”
“Anger.”
Your brain calms when the storm has a label.
• The 90-Second Wave Rule
No emotion lasts in full intensity longer than 90 seconds unless you feed it with thoughts.
Ride the wave.
Don’t add narrative.
• Ask your body: “What’s the smallest relief available right now?”
Not fixing.
Just relief.
• Micro-Permissions
“I’m allowed to stop for a minute.”
“I don’t have to solve this tonight.”
“I can come back to this.”
• Pattern Interruption
If your brain is spiraling, stand up.
Touch something cold.
Walk into another room.
Break the loop physically.
• Softening the Edges
Place a hand on your chest or back of neck.
Slow your exhale.
Let your body catch up.
GROUNDING TECHNIQUES — When Your Emotions Are Too Loud
These are skills for emotional whiplash and panic.
SENSORY GROUNDING
• Feet flat on the floor
• Notice 3 things you can feel
• 3 things you can hear
• 1 thing you can see that feels safe
TEMPERATURE RESET
Cold water on your wrists or face
A cold drink
Ice cube in palm
This signals your body to downshift.
BREATHING FOR THE NERVOUS SYSTEM
(Not deep breathing — that can make it worse.)
Try:
Inhale 4 — Exhale 6
Longer exhales = parasympathetic activation.
OBJECT ANCHORING
Pick something physical (your boots, a ring, Harper’s collar tag).
Hold it.
Feel weight, temperature, texture.
Let your body choose familiarity over fear.
ORIENTATION
Turn your head slowly left→right.
Name what you see.
This tells your brain you are not in the past.
BEHAVIORAL COPING — When You Need Movement, Structure, or Change
You don’t have to be productive.
You just need to shift your state.
• Structured Rest
Set a 10-minute timer.
Lie down.
No doom-scrolling.
Just a reset.
• One-Hour Plans
Don’t plan the day.
Plan the next hour.
It reduces overwhelm.
• Tiny Tasks
One glass of water.
One shower.
One text.
Your nervous system responds to completion, not ambition.
• Regulating Movement
Slow walking.
Stretching.
Changing rooms.
Not workouts — regulation.
• Visual Grounding
Dim lights.
Tidy one surface.
Let your environment calm your system.
RELATIONAL COPING — When You Need Other People Without Collapsing Into Them
Addiction isolates.
But early sobriety can make connection feel threatening.
These tools bridge that gap:
• Ask for contact, not conversation
“Can you stay on the phone for a minute while I breathe?”
• Choose emotionally safe people
Not the ones who made you unstable.
Not the ones you used to drink around.
Not the ones you wanted to save.
• Boundary scripts that regulate YOU
• “I can’t talk about heavy things tonight.”
• “I need simple, not solutions.”
• “I’m overwhelmed — I’ll call you back later.”
• Don’t reach for the person you’re codependent with
It will inflame the wound, not soothe it.
• Let support be boring
Stability is quiet.
EMERGENCY COPING — When You Want to Drink
This is your immediate plan for cravings or panic.
The 5-Minute Rule
Don’t promise yourself sobriety forever.
Promise 5 minutes.
Then another 5.
Urge Surfing
Sit with the craving like a wave.
It rises.
It peaks.
It falls — always.
Message Anyone Safe
You don’t need to explain.
Just break the isolation.
Change Your Environment
Different room.
Outside.
Shower.
Doorstep.
Cravings are contextual — move and the craving breaks.
Distraction That Regulates
Not numbing.
Something sensory:
music, cold drink, walking, cooking.
Call Off The Night
Put on pajamas.
Turn down lights.
Your body recognizes the ritual of “closing.”
PREVENTION COPING — Skills That Reduce Future Chaos
• Predictable rhythm
Your nervous system thrives on stability.
• Fewer decisions
Decision fatigue fuels cravings.
Simplify.
• Rituals that anchor you
Morning pages.
Tea.
Walks.
Small routines become coping in advance.
* Lower sensory input
Noise, clutter, bright screens = overwhelm.
• Expect emotional waves
They are not relapses.
They are recalibrations.
WHAT NOT TO DO
These make everything worse:
• White-knuckling
• Pretending you’re fine
• Hyper-productivity to avoid feelings
• Calling the person you’re obsessed with
• Arguing when dysregulated
• Trying to fix your entire life in one night
• Romanticizing old patterns
• “Just powering through”
These aren’t coping.
They’re avoidance wearing a mask.
CLOSING — The Truth About Coping
Coping isn’t supposed to feel heroic.
It’s supposed to keep you alive long enough to heal.
You are not weak for struggling.
You are not behind for spiraling.
You are not broken because today feels loud.
This guide isn’t about perfection.
It’s about survival with dignity.
And some days, survival is enough.
Recommended Reading
The Body Keeps The Score — Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. This book helps people understand how trauma shapes the mind and body— and gives practical paths to heal the emotional patterns driving addiction.
DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets — Marsha M. Linehan, Ph.D. This book teaches practical evidence based coping skills — mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance — that people in recovery can use every day.
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook — Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D. A workbook style guide full of hands-on exercises for managing anxiety, panic, worry, and stress.
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy — David D. Burns, M.D. This book is great for cognitive reframing and understanding how thoughts affect feelings — a cornerstone of coping work.
Digital guides coming soon.
This guide is educational and experiential in nature and is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or addiction treatment. Always consult a qualified clinician for diagnosis, treatment, or safety concerns. Your use of this site signifies understanding and acceptance of these limitations. Immediate Help.